I have some pretty lofty goals this year. I would like to read 50 books. I will listen to probably half of them on either audible or librivox. I will keep up with my reading list by listening to one book, read one on my kindle (so that I can see it at night while my husband is sleeping), and read one Christian book when I take a hot bubble bath. I also do Bible studies every morning.
Another major goal is to read a lot of Classics, including Les Miserables. I am going to keep track of all of my reads on GOOD READS. I am excited to see how successful I am at this goal.
The heat kicks on
My husband breathes lightly
My doggie snores
Light click of the motion sensor light
Tap tap tap as I type type type
Gentle humming of my aromatherapy diffuser
A car passes by
Rustling of the blankets
….my eyes are heavy, time for sleep
Tony got I finished a shawl. It is my Time Traveler shawl. I ordered the whole kit from Little Skein in the Big Wool. The wool was beautiful. A tonal gray compliments a highly speckled yarn. It is soft and smooshy and still smells a little of sheep. I loved making it. I really worked on the meditation of knitting throughout the whole project. I payed attention to each stitch some days, I got lost in the stitches other days. I thought about others and places love in the stitches. I lost myself in the stitches. Sometimes my imagination ran and other days I focused on specific thoughts. I prayed about things as I purled and cried during an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer as I did the lace chart. There were also rare days where I did some work, answered some calls, and sent some invoices as I tried to keep it all together in my knitting. Now, if only I would tie the ends in.
One word….for the year.
One of my goals was to write each night. Good night now!
Often throughout my life I found myself in dire need of grace. Grace, an undeserved gift. It was difficult to believe that anyone would want to give me grace. If they really knew what I was like, they would turn their back and walk away.
I live a pretty normal, upstanding, blessed life. I still need grace (and mercy) of a loving God. But more and more I find that it is I who need to offer grace to others and to myself. My expectations can get the best of me. Perfection is often what I seek. I am difficult to live with for myself and others.
Some of the things I can show more grace in:
Traffic and those around me
My mom and just letting her be her
Jim and all of the little messes he makes
Molly not always listening
Allowing myself some time to relax
Not expecting my little brother to be who I think he should be
Allowing Lilly to be a little girl
Letting myself make mistakes and forget things
Do nice things for myself; ie, journal, Bible study, exercise, drink lotsa water, eat fruits and veggies or pizza when necessary
Give generously to those around me
Offer help to my family
Offer grace to all I come into contact with
I lie here, lie all nights. I stare at my blue screen and wish that I too were asleep. My dog, Mollie is lightly snoring next to me and my handsome husband Jim is snoring just a little louder. I am tired, but….
My head is going a little too quick. Random all over the place thoughts; bullet journal, oh I can’t wait for my bible study in the morning, that lavender lotion sure is lovely, I wonder what Jim will get me for Valentine’s Day, starting my own business is scary, o can’t believe Pam is moving away, I don’t wanna go do these bids in the morning, mmmmmm I want some gushers, why do my feet hurt so bad, oh look there.
I think I am actually tired enough to fall asleep.
My husband and I built a paver patio recently. It turned out beautifully. But it was a rough 8 days. I had bid the job to take 4 of us 2 days to build. That would have been sufficient normally. Jim and I ended up doing almost all the work ourselves because our two helpers were only available for two days.
From the get go we ran into problems. We started digging it out and the first thing we found was a concrete pad about four inches down. In order to combat that we decided to make a step up and make it a tiered space instead of a 14′ x 18′ flat space. Problem solved, right? I’m, not quite. Cause the next thing, well the next three things, we ran into was two brick sidewalks…asphalt…and an old septic line that was being unused. We muscled it out and with a pick axe and shovels we got it all dug out.
We were getting so close to getting the job done. We had 40 more pavers to lay…40. And then…
The next thing we ran into was a HUGE hole that was not filled in. We dug out 4 concrete/brick boulders, more old pipes, some metal, and an 8′ 4″x4″. Are you serious? Why yes, yes I am. Each of the boulders weighed 400 + pounds. NIGHTMARE!!!
The next day Jim and I went out to the job though, and by night fall we laid the last paver, spread some sand, put an edge in and called it perfect. What a job. We were exhausted. We had worked 13 and 14 hours every day for well over a week. The customer was so kind and paid us more than we contracted. Thank God.
I am still recovering a week later. I tend to overdue things. I have been really strong my whole life and don’t know how to pace myself and take it easy. Self care is not my forte. So now I am suffering through A shoulder injury without any medication other than an NSAID. A job well done sometimes wins over self-care. I need to watch this if I am going to continue working hard for the years to come.